Talk Derby to Me

Have you ever heard of a hypocritical holiday? Yes, it’s a term I just made up, but they are littered throughout the calendar. What is the definition? A day that we all choose to celebrate even if the day being celebrated has nothing to do with who we are, what we stand for, our ideas, goals, religions and visions, dreams and desires. Around here, the biggest is probably St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, it is a traditional Irish celebration, but we all partake (well, most of us do) and have a good time doing so. Second place is probably Cinco de Mayo. Which, for the record, is not Mexican Independence Day. I am bi-lingual. I speak fluent Spanish, so you can trust your pal Jesse when he says “Cinco de Mayo” means “Just another excuse to drink too much bad tequila” in Spanish. Sure it does. Hate to break it to you, but Mexicans don’t celebrate May 5^th. Not really. Believe it or not, we’ve got two hypocritical holidays within three days of each. At least some of you reading this will overdo it next week (Cinco de Mayo), but some others will get a head start on May 2^nd, a day that has become something of a national holiday. At the very least it has become one of those days where you have an excuse to change the name of your hat to a fascinator, get dolled up and go watch a horse race while you sip a Mint Julep for probably the first time this year. Yeah, you know who you are.

The Kentucky Derby will be run on Saturday. You know, that one horse race a year that the casual or non horse racing fan will pay attention to with a the passion and excitement of the Georgia-Florida game in Jacksonville? Of course, only with cocktail in hand. A good many of us will make plans to go watch somewhere with a bunch of people in hats called “fascinators” and we will root for horses that we haven’t heard of until a day or two before. Then once that race is over, we will turn our attention to the less spectacular Preakness Stakes in Baltimore. If the winner of the Kentucky Derby wins the Preakness, then we will obsess about the Belmont Stakes until horse racing season pretty much ends to the general public first week of June. Done. Finished. The triple crown with a triple crown and coke. You can wring the snark out this latest offering huh?

I do find it amusing how many people make a big deal out of the Kentucky Derby. Sure, I will watch. I will enjoy it. If I weren’t working, I’d probably even have a beer, or two, while I watched it somewhere with friends. But Kentucky Derby watch parties have become big business. The same way you might see a cardboard cut out of a Latina looking hottie on the 5^th at your favorite watering hole, you are quite likely to see big money being put into promotion of Derby day and the spirits that traditionally flow with it. How do we know? A number of area establishments are having Derby watch parties and you are invited.

• Pacci Italian Kitchen and Bar at The Brice Hotel is offering “Derby in the Garden.” The courtyard at The Brice is one of my favorite spots in Savannah. Beautiful there. For one price you can enjoy Pacci’s House Made Colas, Mint Juleps and “Derby Inspired Bites” prepared by their Chef Dusty Grove. There will be live music, multiple TV screens to watch the race and prize for “Best Derby Dressed.” Sounds like a great time. Call them at 233-3002 for reservations and information. Or follow them on Twitter #talkderbytome. See what they did there?

• Rocks on the Roof at The Bohemian Hotel will be having a Four Roses Bourbon event. This event sounds a little lower key than the party at Pacci, but a good time none the less. The views from up on the roof are fantastic, plenty of TVs to enjoy the pre-race festivities and the race. They are planning to unveil a special Four Roses Special Aged cocktail and are giving away a trip to Louisville, Kentucky and a VIP Tour of the Four Roses distillery. There will also be prizes for Best Hat and Best Seersucker.

• If you want to go the Jimmy Buffet route to the horse race, then you need to park it on River Street for the Crabtucky Derby. No, I didn’t make that up. The 2015 River Street Seafood Fest will be going on that day down on the riverfront. A very well attended event. On hand to put on a heck of a race will be the National Crab Racing Association. They tell us “participants will get to cheer on their own hermit crab and take photos with their racer and pit crew.” I happen to find that fascinating on Derby day. Any other day, it would just be very interesting. Of course, it is First Saturday on River Street. It will be a fine time with Fireworks on Friday night.

Something there for everyone as we dust off our Sunday best to wear on a Saturday, pretend we like Mint Juleps and even more so, pretend we care about horse racing. Generally, we don’t. Just like the Super Bowl. 700 trillion people watch worldwide when only about 912 care about the outcome of the game. Hey, it’s what we do. Who am I to knock it. I won’t. Just remember wherever you end up, enjoy your horse racing responsibly. Facebook can do without dozens of pictures of grown men running around with broom handles between their legs.

See you on TV.

Jesse