Ten Things You Should NOT Do…

You may not think so, but I get it from all sides in this business. Yeah, I hear from restaurant patrons who have both good and bad experiences at a particular restaurant. That’s the easy part and sometimes subject to opinion. Sometimes, however, I get some peeks inside the hot dog. I’ve heard horror stories about restaurant employees who show up late for work, or worse yet, not at all and don’t expect to be reprimanded. I’ve heard stories of employees who call their bosses and say they have no way to get to work. In one instance a chef said “Well, I needed you here 30 minutes ago” and paid for a taxi himself just to get that employee in the building. Finally, I hear from servers who have to deal with bad personalities, under-educated customers, and huge egos. The worst are the type of consumers that are unbelievably inconsiderate in the face of a holiday dining night. With that as a back drop, Valentine’s Day is a Saturday this year. Can there be any better recipe for disaster in a dining room? Maybe, but unlikely. So I’ve compiled a list (with a little help from my friends) on the Top 10 Things You Should NOT Do When You Go Out To Eat On An “Eating Holiday”. The good thing about this particular list? It applies to Valentine’s Day, yes, but it also can come in handy on Easter, Mother’s Day, New Year’s Eve, and Restaurant Week. So, please clip, save, and be mindful.

1. Please do not walk into a restaurant on Valentine’s Day at 7pm without a reservation and expect to be seated. On big nights a lot of restaurants fill up days, maybe weeks in advance. Sure, there may be a cancellation you could take advantage of, but if you are told you can’t be seated, then it might just be time to get on down the road.

2. Please don’t name drop. “Do you know who I am?” is about as tacky as it gets in the face of a packed house. If the person greeting you doesn’t know who you are already, then they probably don’t care either. Oh, and the owner very likely has more than one friend. So sharing the fact that you know them doesn’t carry a whole lot of weight in the face of a packed house. If you are told you can’t be seated, then it might just be time to get on down the road.

3. Please don’t ask for your favorite table.  If you have a favorite table, it’s probably a good one. If it’s a good one, chances are others like it as well. On a night like Valentine’s Day, you could have 20 people fighting for their favorite table. Unless you make that reservation WAY in advance, please keep those expectations under control. If another table isn’t good enough? Well, then it might just be time to get on down the road.

4. Please don’t camp. Any restaurant employee wants you to enjoy your dining experience. Absolutely. No one should rush you through a meal. The time is yours, you are paying the bill. It is certainly your night. However, on a big night like Valentine’s Day, you are asked to be mindful of the fact there are scores of people waiting to be seated. After you pay your bill, please don’t use that time to catch up with friends or discuss business plans.

5. Special Treatment. All food and beverage employees are in the hospitality business. They really do want to make you happy. However, asking for special tastes of wine or nibbles from the menu or free desserts because it’s your birthday tomorrow is not smart on Valentine’s Day. A special day for you, perhaps, but just another night in the weeds for your servers. There’s no way in the face of a packed house you are going to get that kind of special treatment.

6. Don’t get engaged. They are begging you. Don’t do it. Save it for later. Your significant other deserves a better setting than a dining room roaring worse than a battle scene in a Star Wars movie. I’m partial to the AT-AT Walkers invading Hoth in Empire Strikes Back, but that’s just me. Don’t do it.

7. Be Patient. It’s a crazy busy night. Servers know it’s a crazy busy night before the night even started. They are trying to prepare themselves to be as efficient as they can. Sometimes it takes a minute to get some wine out. Sometimes it may take a little longer than normal to get your beer. Maybe a keg popped and it needs to be replaced. These things happen all the time, but in the face of a full house, the trickledown effect on people is multiplied by 100. Please be patient.

8. No Special Ordering. This is not a good time to ask for your Fajitas with no peppers or She Crab Soup with low sodium. If you think the dining room is buzzing, imagine the kitchen? There’s a reason why a lot of places will do a pared-down menu on Valentine’s Day. Salad with dressing on the side? That’s fair. More than that? Not cool.

9. When you say you are ready to order, please be ready to order. Time is of the essence on Valentine’s Day. That’s not the time to get into a discussion with the people at your table about side dishes. “Oh, I wanted to get the collard greens!” Is there anything wrong with two of you getting the same side? Sort it out ahead of time, please. The time saved with make everyone’s experience that much better.

And finally…

10. If you are going to bring in your own wine, please be aware that your server is typically knowledgeable about wine. They know the bottle you planted in the middle of the table cost $12 at the grocery store. That bottle of wine and a decanter do not belong in the same sentence. Decanters are used to make wine better and some grapes…there is just no hope for.

See you on TV.

Jesse